Losing my time...

...with a new unnecessary obsession.

The past month has begun the season of sadness and the rise of internal demons. Thanksgiving and Christmas require resurfacing from the depths and coexisting with my family. I tend to be looked at as the black sheep of my family, not willing to idle in life in a life of riches.

So, apologies for the silence in November. I trudged through Thanksgiving with my blood family and had a great time with my extended family afterward.

The rest of the time, thus far, has been my new obsession with Sims4. So humor the following share-dump from this silly obsession I have been slowly drowning in.

 

 
The product of a seriously fucked sleep schedule and overnight session with a laptop in a dimly lit bed. The best attempt at my own home in the world of reality. I live in a uniquely designed Lakehouse-styled home. I don't know the proper name of this style. When you enter, the main stairs greet you with a pair of bedrooms on either side as you enter. Down the main stairway takes you to the rest of the house (Kitchen, Main Bathroom, & Living Room). Not shown in this Sims4 version would be the second upper bedroom or my Main Bathroom and its connected Beach Shower. I'm too tired to explain my bathroom - I may some other time.

Additionally, you have to make a simulated self for the Sims, which was added torture for someone with destructive self-image issues, such as myself. Sometime in the future, I may discuss this via a post here.

Sims4 Rio microwaving food

My Sims character by the obligatory Christmas tree

Just showing some other outfits
I hate by bust size, but enjoy the low neckline it offers

There are game modifications involved to get less
polygon-heavy shapes in the breasts

The most lifelike rendition. My life of absolute shit in PJ's and scathered.
More truer if it was my thinner camisole top in my sweatpants

I'll drop captions below each of the above images. Obviously, anyone with a functional brain has already noted this. Just humor me as I am typing this at 1am on a Monday with my PJs in my bed. Just let it be known how much I am still working through my hate of my breast size. 39 inches, for those nosey people, from my last measure. I'm sure the shoddy interface of Sims4 hasn't done justice, nor have I with my assumptions.

Needless to say, I've had to find some online content and mods for the game to get other body and clothing options. I'll most likely jump into this fictional world of myself to:
See the digital me live life while ignoring my own reality.
When I need to escape my own reality.

This is a dangerous space. I am also pulled towards the strong desire to create a Spotify Account and make some playlists. Jag has been sharing old songs with me that she's finding on YouTube & I've been bitten by the nostalgia bug.

That's about it. Don't be surprised by my recede into the void of silence for the rest of the holidays. Of Course, bearing in mind if I wish to share playlists for my readers to also get lost in my musical mind. We can share melodic ecstasy together. 🎶