Winter Depressions, Sexual Dry Spells, Almost Boob Reduction...

... & Social Media Avoidance totality.

Five months tick past, subjectively paced. Brew a tea or coffee, I'll wait—this will take a bit of both our time.

Ready? Pull up a seat, the fluffy beanbag is my personal preference and tuck into the drink.

The winter season challenged my mental health more than it used to. My life path felt lost, covered by the proverbial snow of life or doubt. I feel I've touched in a prior post on how sex tends to become a coping mechanism for me. Most would consider this a win instead of a loss, but when the synthetic play-things become boring & the real thing is not a consistently available resource; it's more frustrating trying to relieve the steam than it feels it should be.

"Rio, you're delving into your erotic natures of oversharing again!" you say. Like you aren't tossing all the pointless things of your day into your social media account in hopes someone likes or follows will flick your egotistical clitoris. We speak on social media again shortly!

I almost got breast reduction surgery last month. Consulted and planned, yet I got cold feet or cold armpits (?) near the end between the cost, talks with Jag, and Bruno, & my questioning what my life would be in a smaller cup.

The $10K price tag was quickly concerning once my fever dream of whims settled down. Bruno & Jag both spoke highly, in their own tones, of my figure, appearance, bust size, and the unspoken tone one's silhouette exudes to create a perceivable likeness. The post-planning measures and discussions of the surgery ultimately sealed my concerns, thus pushing me to cancel. The risks of reducing natural fatty tissues, recovery time, & obvious human error aren't worth a fleeting reward to change something I struggle to love, that being my body.

That 10 grand was placed into an account, minus a few hundred to fix some storm damage over the last few months. The weather as we entered spring came in like an angry hornet. At least 3 times I have had to fix things at my house. Tree Work, New Windows, and Roofing were all done. Roofing men are a special breed. Handsome, hard-working, and yet also very genuine and nice. It's rare when I find men who are fun to just hang around and talk to, and watch work, while still knowing that they probably have plenty of comments to each other of myself.

So Social Media. I have private accounts. I don't share those here & each day I become less attracted to this concept of access to the world's wealth of information. Between the oozing toxic sap of the ego-misogynistic, cynical, & putrid hatred array; the overtly full-frontal sexual display of Nymphomaniac which makes even myself blush; or falsified truths of deception -- I've had well beyond my fill.

Something, such as this blog, allows a full spectrum of allowances paired with personality. You read my text, agree or disagree, then make your way to your next digital fix. The human brain can spend 3-seconds to determine the fruitfulness of a text. Yet 90% of the netizens of the world (mostly the USA) seem to have decided that brief moment should be assaulted by stupidity, sexism, and blatant lies.

It's overall sickening and doesn't help my mental state. It makes me fearful for y'all as well. I find myself cooing for the 80's era of outdoor interactions with humans and less with screen-masked morals. There was a time when you could call out assholes in real time with a face to match future interactions. Now keyboard warriors hide behind their overpriced electricity vampires, prisons of an open mind.

That's been my last few months in a nutshell. I always try not to ghost my blog, but I have never had a trend of commitment in my life.

Tonight, I write this on a handicap as I work with an already overly stimulated mind. Speaking to the 2025 graduates of my High School Alma Mater. A great dinner as well as conversation. It warms my heart to be invited to such an opportunity & watch a future generation step forward into their adult paths. I had Jag as my plus one, an experience she missed out on with her Child Musician career.

I felt so old, seeing such youthful and excited High Schoolers. But maybe I was the hottest Milf some of those guys met? I know -- "That's a stretch". But let a girl bath in her delusional imagination. :)  

Until next time my dears!

Busy first month...

 ... and I go conspiracy theorist.

I'm back in my home. The process was hell and arduous, to say the least. There was insurance red tape, weather delays, supply delays, and even my mental tooling at half speed to make decisions about the aesthetic I wished to create. The final product, however, meets my wishes and requirements. I've been enjoying our surreal winter snowfall from my home with great coziness and a slight air of pride.

My time - during the process - was spent with Jag and Bruno. The sexual temptations I had would constantly be in check and even fail at times. I don't complain about those times of moral strength as I still am a craven woman, a mammal driven to breed and reproduce for survival. Of course, none of those moments were for reproduction and solely my own desired lustful appetite.

The visit included trips to Los Angeles, a city my heart pours out for during its tragic uncontrolled fires creating destruction, along with other parties and events. I felt the aura of being a rockstar or person of interest and fame. It did fully engulf me at times and I would quickly fall back to earth upon my return to this humble headquarters of my life. All of these things had no small effect on my mental state, egotistical blight, or the entry to my temple or body to those of layman's terms.

I've spent the last few weeks at home in my own office and living room as I tool with my thoughts and scroll the endless pit of the internet known as Instagram. You may know (reading this Blog you should, hun) that I am a "Moonwalker" aka Michael Jackson fan.

I've slowly been teetering along the conspiracy fence on MJ, his Life, & passing. A part of me understands that life is finite and fragile as well as that Jackson had a time of his life when substance abuse was very much prevalent.

I also understand his death is a proverbial Swiss cheese of theories, toothbrush-level scoured inconsistencies, & parallel-tuned Elvis theories of faked endings. My heart, my soul, really wants to clench to the later options I just mentioned.

One thing that I tend to find, as I have been able to stomach listening again to his songs without feeling a pain in me that even dwarfs my worst "time of the month", is the shocking realities of how Michael's lyrics tend to speak volumes today of current events. These lyrics pre-date the timeline we currently live and yet he was exposing and slathering the world of today to us back then. At times those lyrics are even a melodic warning to the masses of what he saw ahead.

Below is an Instagram suggested reel that I came across a few days ago in which you can hear and read in the comments the fact that MJ was most likely doing a very deep expose on the music industry and society overall. I also, within this vocals-only version, notice the lyric "Hit Me, Kick Me, You can never get me..." which makes that naive part of me question if this was a message well beyond our understanding then and today. Was Michael telling us that he would find ways to evade the people who want him silenced? Is this a lyrical nudge to the theories for years that he simply went into hiding and his passing or the person of interest shown in his passing was not him after all?

This is the small glimmer I will keep close to my heart, regardless of what rational tells it. Jackson had a reach that surpassed even the eluded higher powers of the world which made him ultimately a power of peace, unity, & a collaborative fight against the high powers and to change society against the "man", as they always called them in the hippie eras.

It is also of interest to note; that my attempts to replay the saved reel in Instagram on my Firefox browser yielded a frozen video that soon came to be any of the video media and reels just not wanting to work.

When I opened the same in Google Chrome, the reels played just fine. Again, I'm not openly saying there's anything to it, but it makes you wonder just who's really watching as well.

Let me know your thoughts if you want. Stay strong my fellow Moonwalkers. His voice, his charm, his existence, and his love are more needed today than ever before as the events he warned us of are now coming forefront in a world of turmoil & excess consumption, and distraction.

I love you all! X's & O's to you all as we navigate the 2025 year. I also apologize I don't post often. I've honestly spent a lot of my tooling time in my office deciding if I wish to put my full soul into literary ventures or if I should diverge into something else. Only Time will tell if my mind changes or not. 

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First Time to LA...

...Rolling like a Rock Star Farce

Bonjour my loves~
Firstly; Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and Joyous whatever you celebrate!

In a way, my Christmas gift was received about two or three weeks ago (time flies, doesn't it?). While I have been a bit of a couch moocher while staying at Jag's place while my house has been getting repaired, I've mostly spent much of the time out and about & utilizing Jag's bodyguard, Bruno, as a stand-in shopping boyfriend. A few enjoyable days of gift buying and, admittedly, utilizing Bruno's feral senses to test outfits. I still tend to get wrapped up in being a bit of a sexual tease at times.

In all honesty, Bruno is a bit of a hunk-style guy. He gives off that mix of mild womanizer and soft teddy bear. He's not really my type, yet I have had intimacy with him in the past.

ANYWAYS! Back onto the topic. About two or three weeks ago, I made my first trip to Los Angeles, California. Jag, Bruno, KaiMei, a friend & her husband, along with myself.

Last year, the event was an in-person affair. Jag & the aforementioned friend, who goes by the nickname Pumpkin, had gone and wanted to go again this year.

This year, the event was streaming only. Thus, the group decided to go to LA and stay someplace to watch the stream. Jag set up an AirB&B that was amazing, yet also cost like $6K (!).

I'll have a photo below & a link to the website of this accommodation. It felt like being a rock star & I may have let our awards night bender get a bit wild on my part. I couldn't pass up some naughty pool fun with Kai Mei while we ordered food and watched the Awards show. 

Sourced from Air B&B Listing linked Below - Pool at Night

The Grove 5 Bedroom Villa - https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/15361680

The awards show was one hell of an interesting watch. We stayed the extended 3-day weekend & a huge culture shock (bucket list?) item to live like an LA high roller. I drank way too much alcohol while also eating well beyond my own body weight in food.

I loved the experience & I'd do it again! I'll wait until next year to find out if they are going again. I also must admit my jealousy of Pumpkin's occasional Japan trips.

An additional bucket list item I'd love to accomplish someday.

Until then, however. Have a great holiday darlings, & amazing New Year! Sending all my blown kisses and warm hugs!

xoxo