A Flood of Emotions...

... ,storm waters, & summer heat

Made it to a shorter gap between posts! It's been a shitshow of events in such a short time, though -- let's talk about it. 

The perception of my tastes and self by others has been a game of assumptions for years. "She's an 80s girly girl", "She'd hate dark music", etc. doubled. 

While I am quite bound to the 80s era & culture, one must recall that hair bands and rock music were also formed within the 80s as well.  That said -- the passing of Ozzy Osborne was a hard pill to take. Along with the passing of other celebrities, including vocalist George Kooymans of Golden Earring. All were pinnacles of their art and brought us all imagery within our minds through their music. They are all to be missed yet also thanked for their contributions to the world. 

Within those events, I've watched storm waters rise and recede near my backyard from the lake level rise from recent storms & runoff. One day, the rains came as I was outside doing yard work, and it made me glad I was wearing a bikini under my clothes. The warm rainwater felt good, even with the high temperatures lately. 

My home has lakefront access, and it does at times bear moments of concern. I also have a custom-designed bath, which gives access to an outside shower that has flooded slightly, which keeps me on my toes sometimes.  The storms have also tried to drown my garden and taken out 1 larger tree in the neighborhood I'm in.  Wild times to be honest. 

As of this current week, I've been having girls' night (and Bruno) with Jag. The news of Ozzy's passing and other things going on personally had taken a toll on her. There is nothing I can truly speak on; it's her own story and life to tell at her own time.  She's fine and her mental state was, nor is, not where one should be concerned. 

I am in such love with Jag and we're like sisters, but with an interesting dynamic. Frequent readers know my story with Bruno, Jag's bodyguard & associate. We are all so close and care for each other deeply. Yet, I also know much deeper aspects of her life that others don't, and she's been embracing that side of herself more in private within the house. 

More beach time & Pool fun with summer foods to come for us, as weather permits. She was so impressed and happy with how the July events at Glen Garden's went, and I don't blame her as I attended Anima & Glen Fest. Anima, this year, was my first time attending, and it was epic seeing the cosplays and stage shows. 

I'm so proud of her. She's a great roomie as well when she visits. 

I'm doing fine while letting this summer be a time to just relax & improve my self-image. Bikini season is a time of uncertainty. I get self-conscious about my frame, while I get more male attention for the same, obviously. I have never been a fan of being objectified by men; even at my worst, it was a point of discomfort for me.

I am fortunate that most men in my life are intelligent gentlemen who, even if sexually pleased by them in some capacity, are still respectful and kind. The few assholes I have encountered rarely get far in bed with me, nor do I try to give them the time of day. 

If you haven't noticed by now, my taste in men has always been unorthodox compared to what other "bubbly blond bimbos", as I've once been referred to as, would want. My crushes have always been the outsiders of society, the gentleman of a time past, the bad boys with true hearts. Few girls, like myself, who have lusted for and dreamed of Michael Jackson for decades, rarely wind up dating or giving oxygen to immature boys or men lost in themselves or their delusions of "manliness" curated by porn sites & poor father figures. 

My body simply attracts the latter while my personality attracts the former. Some of you may already know the ratio of the two sadly leans more to boys & fake men than it ever does real men.  I reiterate; I have been blessed to have at least 2 or 3 of them in my life. 

So I guess my advice to close out is... make sure to hold out for the real men. If you are a man, hold out for the real women, too. The ones that have a true mind, their own opinions, & make you feel happy and safe. 

Have a fun and rest-filled summer into fall. I can smell the pumpkin spice already.