... probibly didn't try hard enough.
Salut!
It has been a stagnant pause between posts, has it not?
I must apologize for the lack of posts.
I have been slowly tucked between the dark corners of stress and anxiety of my finals - Friday, I submitted my final product of the prior week's grind. Meanwhile, my focus on my basic needs of reduced burn-out & sleep has waned.
How is everyone handling this transition from winter to summer?
Locally for me, the weather has been enraged and unpredictable, with more time spent in my basement as of late than I would prefer to, other than doing laundry.
My inner turbulence has been at a primarily calm state while, from what I can tell from Jag's Twitter, her's has been lacking lately.
A daily cycle of awakening, showering, and a small breakfast before an 8 hours grind on the booklet to end the term.
To count on both hands how many times I have fallen asleep mid-read, only to be shocked awake by my alarm the following morning is impossible.
I fully believe that stress can easily void your mind of the triggers you need to reduce the prior mentioned anxieties. If your inquisitively wondering, it is in the form of nice long soaks in the tub, warm cozy nights with personal pleasure, or a night with Kai Mei. Have you noticed the trend in my posts yet?
I've had some people tell me I'm being too open, too sexualized on my posts. But I honestly believe in an open forum of healing by embracing your desires and sharing those in case others can relate or find inspiration in them. While I may not be a flaming nymphomaniac, I did have a period where I was bordering that trend. And with warning of triggering conversation to follow, it was one of the direct causes of me crashing hard personally and drawing my step close to the bridge edge.
One of the first real hard retrospects I faced was my image, my sexuality, and my threshold to divulge about all the previous. Contrary to your astute reading thus far of my work - I tend to be very shy and reserved in public. Jag has helped me push my comfort zone in her streams & writings here help me flesh out desires or thoughts that tend to be hotter than most typical writings. My self-image is still about as low as parts of the titanic. I feel this may be a common gripe of larger breasted girls to feel less confident in their body since it's generally seen by males as an instant Whore marker. I will dare say that may have been why I was able to find many willing one-nighters while I slowly self-destructed.
Nonetheless, I still have a long way to go before I can look at these breasts and my pencil-like figure without feeling some form of disdain. I'm honestly just a pencil with a nice set of tits that fill a bra really well.
So please understand that this blog is a bundle of my working and finding myself as a whole. What I am about and venting or airing out my thoughts and concerns. I hope to start just drafting and posting some snippets of ideas in my head until the next session of classes begins. Unless they just tell me I am too stupid to remain a student with them. [HaHa!] Yes, some of those ideas may delve into mature topics.
Considering the current time of 1:40AM, I have stayed awake way longer than I would like to have. I will bid you farewell and slip off my clothes to let folds meet between fabric and form in combat of the warmer temps. I will sign off, leaving you with bated breath of what wisdom or blatant smut I will post next. Shall I comprise a post about Moon-Bathing? A concept both primal and astral in the task, shared with me by a friend of mine with a deep grasp on the astrological and universal teachings of past texts.
Sleep well my loves. Love yourself and take things step by step, please.
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