The Most Childish...

... of Adults.

Back again in short order, this psychotic bitch. 

Let me explain.

After a long trend of heat & humidity, we've had a few spurts of storms and rain. Jag, Bruno, & I, in a moment of delirium, decided to take advantage of the rains. We would slip outside into the back yard as we allowed ourselves that moment of almost childish bliss & naivety. 

Slipping back into the outdoor shower to the bathroom as we laughed at ourselves, soaked to the bone, and ignoring the emotion of embarrassment or vanity. 

It was our moment of joint joy & brought us closer together. 

I wanted to share this quirky moment we had and how much fun it was for me. I'll forever cherish this moment in my life. 

A Flood of Emotions...

... ,storm waters, & summer heat

Made it to a shorter gap between posts! It's been a shitshow of events in such a short time, though -- let's talk about it. 

The perception of my tastes and self by others has been a game of assumptions for years. "She's an 80s girly girl", "She'd hate dark music", etc. doubled. 

While I am quite bound to the 80s era & culture, one must recall that hair bands and rock music were also formed within the 80s as well.  That said -- the passing of Ozzy Osborne was a hard pill to take. Along with the passing of other celebrities, including vocalist George Kooymans of Golden Earring. All were pinnacles of their art and brought us all imagery within our minds through their music. They are all to be missed yet also thanked for their contributions to the world. 

Within those events, I've watched storm waters rise and recede near my backyard from the lake level rise from recent storms & runoff. One day, the rains came as I was outside doing yard work, and it made me glad I was wearing a bikini under my clothes. The warm rainwater felt good, even with the high temperatures lately. 

My home has lakefront access, and it does at times bear moments of concern. I also have a custom-designed bath, which gives access to an outside shower that has flooded slightly, which keeps me on my toes sometimes.  The storms have also tried to drown my garden and taken out 1 larger tree in the neighborhood I'm in.  Wild times to be honest. 

As of this current week, I've been having girls' night (and Bruno) with Jag. The news of Ozzy's passing and other things going on personally had taken a toll on her. There is nothing I can truly speak on; it's her own story and life to tell at her own time.  She's fine and her mental state was, nor is, not where one should be concerned. 

I am in such love with Jag and we're like sisters, but with an interesting dynamic. Frequent readers know my story with Bruno, Jag's bodyguard & associate. We are all so close and care for each other deeply. Yet, I also know much deeper aspects of her life that others don't, and she's been embracing that side of herself more in private within the house. 

More beach time & Pool fun with summer foods to come for us, as weather permits. She was so impressed and happy with how the July events at Glen Garden's went, and I don't blame her as I attended Anima & Glen Fest. Anima, this year, was my first time attending, and it was epic seeing the cosplays and stage shows. 

I'm so proud of her. She's a great roomie as well when she visits. 

I'm doing fine while letting this summer be a time to just relax & improve my self-image. Bikini season is a time of uncertainty. I get self-conscious about my frame, while I get more male attention for the same, obviously. I have never been a fan of being objectified by men; even at my worst, it was a point of discomfort for me.

I am fortunate that most men in my life are intelligent gentlemen who, even if sexually pleased by them in some capacity, are still respectful and kind. The few assholes I have encountered rarely get far in bed with me, nor do I try to give them the time of day. 

If you haven't noticed by now, my taste in men has always been unorthodox compared to what other "bubbly blond bimbos", as I've once been referred to as, would want. My crushes have always been the outsiders of society, the gentleman of a time past, the bad boys with true hearts. Few girls, like myself, who have lusted for and dreamed of Michael Jackson for decades, rarely wind up dating or giving oxygen to immature boys or men lost in themselves or their delusions of "manliness" curated by porn sites & poor father figures. 

My body simply attracts the latter while my personality attracts the former. Some of you may already know the ratio of the two sadly leans more to boys & fake men than it ever does real men.  I reiterate; I have been blessed to have at least 2 or 3 of them in my life. 

So I guess my advice to close out is... make sure to hold out for the real men. If you are a man, hold out for the real women, too. The ones that have a true mind, their own opinions, & make you feel happy and safe. 

Have a fun and rest-filled summer into fall. I can smell the pumpkin spice already. 

Winter Depressions, Sexual Dry Spells, Almost Boob Reduction...

... & Social Media Avoidance totality.

Five months tick past, subjectively paced. Brew a tea or coffee, I'll wait—this will take a bit of both our time.

Ready? Pull up a seat, the fluffy beanbag is my personal preference and tuck into the drink.

The winter season challenged my mental health more than it used to. My life path felt lost, covered by the proverbial snow of life or doubt. I feel I've touched in a prior post on how sex tends to become a coping mechanism for me. Most would consider this a win instead of a loss, but when the synthetic play-things become boring & the real thing is not a consistently available resource; it's more frustrating trying to relieve the steam than it feels it should be.

"Rio, you're delving into your erotic natures of oversharing again!" you say. Like you aren't tossing all the pointless things of your day into your social media account in hopes someone likes or follows will flick your egotistical clitoris. We speak on social media again shortly!

I almost got breast reduction surgery last month. Consulted and planned, yet I got cold feet or cold armpits (?) near the end between the cost, talks with Jag, and Bruno, & my questioning what my life would be in a smaller cup.

The $10K price tag was quickly concerning once my fever dream of whims settled down. Bruno & Jag both spoke highly, in their own tones, of my figure, appearance, bust size, and the unspoken tone one's silhouette exudes to create a perceivable likeness. The post-planning measures and discussions of the surgery ultimately sealed my concerns, thus pushing me to cancel. The risks of reducing natural fatty tissues, recovery time, & obvious human error aren't worth a fleeting reward to change something I struggle to love, that being my body.

That 10 grand was placed into an account, minus a few hundred to fix some storm damage over the last few months. The weather as we entered spring came in like an angry hornet. At least 3 times I have had to fix things at my house. Tree Work, New Windows, and Roofing were all done. Roofing men are a special breed. Handsome, hard-working, and yet also very genuine and nice. It's rare when I find men who are fun to just hang around and talk to, and watch work, while still knowing that they probably have plenty of comments to each other of myself.

So Social Media. I have private accounts. I don't share those here & each day I become less attracted to this concept of access to the world's wealth of information. Between the oozing toxic sap of the ego-misogynistic, cynical, & putrid hatred array; the overtly full-frontal sexual display of Nymphomaniac which makes even myself blush; or falsified truths of deception -- I've had well beyond my fill.

Something, such as this blog, allows a full spectrum of allowances paired with personality. You read my text, agree or disagree, then make your way to your next digital fix. The human brain can spend 3-seconds to determine the fruitfulness of a text. Yet 90% of the netizens of the world (mostly the USA) seem to have decided that brief moment should be assaulted by stupidity, sexism, and blatant lies.

It's overall sickening and doesn't help my mental state. It makes me fearful for y'all as well. I find myself cooing for the 80's era of outdoor interactions with humans and less with screen-masked morals. There was a time when you could call out assholes in real time with a face to match future interactions. Now keyboard warriors hide behind their overpriced electricity vampires, prisons of an open mind.

That's been my last few months in a nutshell. I always try not to ghost my blog, but I have never had a trend of commitment in my life.

Tonight, I write this on a handicap as I work with an already overly stimulated mind. Speaking to the 2025 graduates of my High School Alma Mater. A great dinner as well as conversation. It warms my heart to be invited to such an opportunity & watch a future generation step forward into their adult paths. I had Jag as my plus one, an experience she missed out on with her Child Musician career.

I felt so old, seeing such youthful and excited High Schoolers. But maybe I was the hottest Milf some of those guys met? I know -- "That's a stretch". But let a girl bath in her delusional imagination. :)  

Until next time my dears!